Crime and Punishment

I have been blessed with ample opportunities to discipline some kiddos over here lately and the creative juices must be flowing that direction. It is so tricky with these older boys to figure out what would be a consequence that doesn't punish me so much either. Of course I can remember my mom finding work for kids who couldn't get along, and I was usually part of that crowd. So here is a sampling of this weeks crimes and punishments:

Half Buck was asked to watch Mite at the library for 5 minutes while I helped Cents and Two Bits choose books. The problem was we had one of his rat pack along. So not cool to watch a baby bro. So they didn't. When I returned in 3 minutes because mommy radar was in high alert, there was no baby bro to be seen. After glancing around we saw all kinds of commotion in between the double doors out of the library and Mite was being shepherded back inside by a librarian. Should I say Media Specialist? Hot Mama, but first to reclaim my escapee. Hmmmm, really want to take that friend right on home, but why punish him. So I let Half Buck know his day was coming. Later I gave him the option of: a week without friends or 2 babysitting gigs without any monetary compensation. Guess what he chose? Boy was it fun to wake him at 7:30 am for his first sitting job : )

I took Buck and Half Buck to Harry Potter 6 this week. I have broken my unwritten rule of you have to read it first. It just isn't happening with my firstborn. I feel this failure keenly. I still hold out hope of a late in life conversion to the love of books, but game systems have come between him and the written word. Alas. The movie was pretty good and pretty long and we found ourselves stopping at past 11 at Meijer. I know this is crazy, but Finish Dish Detergent was Free with coupons and it was the last day of the sale and we had been at the lake all week. It was a now or never kind a deal (Okay, I know you are all thinking I'm nuts, but it was free Finish Detergent and I had 4 coupons: 4 free boxes and you can check out that part of my insanity over at bestbets). So it was a three minute trip for 4 boxes of free detergent and no the boys couldn't go look at legos or game in the electronic section they could stay with me thank you very much. But they didn't. So after 3 minutes I had my rain check (see, I'm not the only one pigging out on free dish detergent!) I am waiting on the bench up front. I'm tired, I packed a cottage worth of stuff this morn before 10. At 10 I switched to the cleaning lady. At noon I took a beach walk with 3 sibs and numerous nieces and nephews using them as slave labor to haul back rocks for my landscaping dreams. After lunch it was time to go back to the real world and home, but I managed to delay it until around 3:30 enjoying one last Shermans ice cream cone on the way. Then I made Little Ceasars Pizza for dinner. It was a long day, but it is the last day of vacation and some of the ice cream money amazingly was unspent. Okay, we charged the pizza. Anyway, that is my list of excuses for paging the boys after waiting 15 minutes at the front of the Meijer. Like there friends will know....at 11:30 at night. Anyway, they were all mad at me!!!! Who took them to the movie, gave them pizza and a week at the beach I might add. So I'm thinking these boys can help me reclaim some coupons from the recycling center....or.....wash the dishes by hand without the item we went into the store with. They chose recycling.

My star in the family fell a bit this week. Two Bits is a happy, easy, compliant, smart boy. I'm so glad because he is in the middle. Now I know Sister Mary 3 and the middle kid in my clan would say: the centerpiece, the cream in the oreo, the meat and cheese in the middle, the best stuff is in the middle. Good point. I love going to this boys parent teacher conferences or as I call them: mutual admiration meetings. But I must confess this boy has a stubborn streak that runs silent and deep. I mean deep. It was his week to load the dishwasher, but he didn't want to. All kinds of excuses, whining, trying to get out of it ensued. All the while his big bro Buck was taking out the garbage as asked, and pulling in the wet towels before the rains as asked. So when he sneaks away when my back is turned, it is off to time out. He is quickly ready to comply now, but now I need a time out. So he can wait til my kitchen chore is done. He asks once more to come out and I tell him this. When I call him out a few later, he humbling comes out and reports: I was angry when you said I couldn't come out of time out so I broke my glasses and threw them in the trash. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm more than a little angry. You'll have to see my earlier post on glasses to know how hard it is to keep these boys in glasses over here. So my reply is: I think you already know you made a bad choice when you are angry. Now I'm angry and I don't want to make a bad choice. So we will talk about this tomorrow (when I'm not seeing red glasses). I imagine he is a bit fearful of what I can come up with by tomorrow, so he keeps coming round to it: I don't even like glasses, I don't need them, do I have to pay, how much. WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT TOMORROW teeth clenched. Well it took me about 3 weeks to get the insurance to agree to replacing them. And he has been earning money around here with weeding and extra chores to chip in. Since they are covered this time, we will tuck it in his college fund and hope he is wearing contacts by then.

No Smiles

My big boys: The Prof, Buck, Half Buck, and Two Bits got treated to Disney for a week by The Prof's parents. Yay for in laws this generous. They love Disney and wanted to share it with all the grandkids. So every couple years they round up a group of "young enough to enjoy it and old enough to walk it" and head off. This year they also took two other 11-year old grandkids. In a couple years it will be Cent's and Mite's turn.

You can tell which kids are ours in these photos by the lack of smiles. I know they had a good time. Every couple days they could be pried away from the fun long enough to talk to me. Especially my 8-year old Two Bits. They would gush about the coaster or the show of the day. Okay, Buck at 14 didn't gush. But he actually had something to talk about. I am grateful in more than one ways to my in-laws!

Through the marvels of modern technology, The Prof sent me photos. Really, isn't this an amaaaaazing machine we're using? How does it work anyway? How is it I can put a line of code for a photo and up it pops on my blog? But they never seem to smile. What is the deal, I asked. Are they really having a good time, are they behaving for Grandma and Grandpa, saying please and thank you, bathing, changing their socks occasionally. All those things Mom looks out for and The Prof replies, "oh, I hadn't thought of that."

I've asked the boys why they don't smile for the camera. It turns out they don't like the way their teeth look. Who knew? We just had our first consult for Buck's braces and took a gander at the payment plan. No I didn't turn shock white at the quote. But it sure felt like I did. We see the other recommended orthodontist in a couple weeks. Sure hope I can find a really good coupon for this. I didn't even think his were in bad shape. Of course I didn't know the little space between Half Buck's teeth bothered him. Like most moms I buy the shoes with room to grow. So a little extra space is a good thing, right? Now Two Bits I know has it coming. His teeth came in a zig zag pattern once those big Chiclets sized teeth appeared. Orthodontists have Game Boys for your kids to play with in the chair!!! So now you know what you are paying for. Anyway, this man who is going to get my lay-new-carpet-remodel-the-basement-and-buy-a-decent-minivan money says I ought to have Half Buck and Two Bits seen as well. Anyone with the top front four teeth can get started.

Yikes, now I'm not smiling either.

Mites Haircut

I just cut Mites hair. Not the little trim of the bangs. Not the clippers. But I did try to put some layers in the back and sides. The Prof thought I was back to giving the bowl cut. It was cute and easy and in style when Buck was little. It looked like a Dorothy Hammill Pixie on Half Buck with all that thick hair. Yep there is the reason to not use real names. I just saide my son looked like Dorothy Hammill. By the time I was cutting Two Bits hair, I went to a clipper very young. I was using it on the big boys anyway. If your worried about my poor boys appearance: Buck and Half Buck gets their's cut professionally. I should say, Buck does, Half Bucks hair is longer than mine.

Anyway, I took Mite out on the deck in a towel after his bath. He sat on my lap with his passy and just let me cut. Yeah, like that is going to happen. Well everything but the sitting did. He was still while I did the back and that was about it. Then I tried to get him to look at the birdie in the yard. Of course the bird didn't feel like sitting still either.

The Music on the Side

I have so much fun seeing what is up in blog world and then adding something to one of my blogs. It is my new toy and it feels like Christmas. So I just added the Play list on the side with a couple songs that make me feel family. Feel free to comment and suggest other songs I should add. And for Dad, just hit the pause button in the middle, if you can even hear it.

The Mighty Mite

I can see where a lot of my current stories are going to be about Mite just now. He has sure been full of antics lately. The Prof has been gone for 9 days to Florida. So I had been running low on steam, high on short tempered. Buck and Half Buck really stepped up and did some sitting, helping, and generally giving me a break. Even Two Bits was good for a half hour of playing with Cents and Mite outside so I could get dinner cooking. But there were still a couple count to 50 moments. I know, isn't it supposed to be to 10? You have 5 and an Irish temper and see if 10 still works for you! Don't judge me, I'm in survival mode this week. The boys deodorant had already been played with. The lego destruction was a day or so ago. The ruined toliet paper roll had been cleaned up. But the rest of the house was strewn with items in the wrong place from Mites destructive tendencies or those teething days when he was, what we Trekkies refer to as, a klingon. I am hard pressed to know which phase I like least: teething Klingon or happy destruction mode. Apparently I forgot to close the door to the office, close the lid to the lap top and barricade the basement. With four unattended I'm going to the potty minutes,  Mite had removed 11 keys from the laptop and was having fun slamming and opening the lid. Now several folks have told me that you actually need a special tool to pry those keys off the board. But my little Mite....he has ten of them! The Prof got home yesterday and went down to view the destruction. Today he managed to get all but one back in working order.

Mite Talks

This baby is a non talker. Actually, up till now, he hasn't known how to speak in English. He has been steadily babbling along in some unknown language. And we think, since he joined us here, that he ought to make an effort to speak English. He has rather thought that he could get around it with crying, whining, pointing, and having these silent little lay at your feet tantrums that really crack me up. The Prof took him to his well check up with the doc last week. He was all kinds of helpful before abandoning me for 8 days to work in sunny Florida, and then going back with the big boys for 7 days after being home 5. This is good for your hubby, letting them try out your job for size. Anyway, Prof was feeling a bit behind the curve as Mite only had about 6 words in his vocab, and he only used them if he was in the right kinda mood (read: not teething and therefore attached to Mom's hip). So we started counting his words and the big kids got in on the act. So he decided to accommodate us and add lots more. Today's word was "tickle" when he wanted me to tickle his feet while wrestling on the jammies.

Four kids to the dentist on two different days this week, zero cavities, one lecture about brushing better for Two Bits, and 3 orthodontist referrals (that is what I get for asking!) Mite got to be pretty comfy and bold around the office. And apparently he wanted his big brother to come and visit him. You see, when Buck has been hybernating in the basement bedroom, we use the heating vents to call him upstairs. It saves me the trip up and down since he can't hear me yell from the top of the stairs. So Mite goes over to the air vent and called big brothers name down the vent. Perhaps Mite thought he could hurry us out of there by getting his big bro. We had a good chuckle over that one.

Remembering Julie

When my parents divorced I remember thinking: If family doesn't last forever, what the heck does? I didn't see then that my family was not gone, it faltered, it altered, and it went on. One of the surprise blessings that I couldn't see then was my Step Mom and her children and how they would slowly become a part of the bigger clan that is, as my Dad calls it, the whole fam damily. This week we lost one of them. My step brother's wife, Julie. And my heart goes out to Mike and April.

Two and a half years ago I was visiting my Dad in the sunny lands and his car broke. So Julie took pity on Cents and I. She and April took us out for the day. We watched April's soccer game and then we were off for lunch at the mall. I keep thinking about that day. We moms are always watching each other. Not in a bad way, we just learn from each other. I think some of my best parenting is done with an audience, and so is some of my worst. I had met April when she was around 2; she was often at Grandma Happy's house (my Half Buck named her that when he was 2). But this was the most time I'd ever spent with her mom. Since I was new to this mother daughter bonding relationship, this day just stuck in my mind.

Over the course of the day, I learned a bit about her story. At the time April was going to a local christian school. Julie and Mike felt this was the better choice for her for now and joined the church that sponsored the school. Julie shared that she had trusted Christ as her Savior through the teaching and what she learned. I remember thinking: my poor Dad, he just can't get away from us. And I was pleased that God keeps putting people in his path that believe. So I keep praying for him and I shared that with Julie.

Julie just seemed to enjoy her day watching a soccer game, chatting it up with a few other parents on the sidelines. With only one child there was no rushing about to get to the next event as so often happens to me. Could we stop for a slurpee after the game? Sure. I remember how pleased when April asked to get her ears pierced. She confided in me, as April made her earring selection, that she had been waiting for this moment. Because we moms treasure the rites of passage, the moments that won't come again, the days we remember and know our kids will. We want them to be memorable, to share that touchstone. Julie knew it was one of those moments and enjoyed it, and I'm so glad she did. I hope there are more of them tucked in April or her Grandma or Dad's memory because there won't be any more of those rite of passage days for April and Julie to share.