Remembering Julie

When my parents divorced I remember thinking: If family doesn't last forever, what the heck does? I didn't see then that my family was not gone, it faltered, it altered, and it went on. One of the surprise blessings that I couldn't see then was my Step Mom and her children and how they would slowly become a part of the bigger clan that is, as my Dad calls it, the whole fam damily. This week we lost one of them. My step brother's wife, Julie. And my heart goes out to Mike and April.

Two and a half years ago I was visiting my Dad in the sunny lands and his car broke. So Julie took pity on Cents and I. She and April took us out for the day. We watched April's soccer game and then we were off for lunch at the mall. I keep thinking about that day. We moms are always watching each other. Not in a bad way, we just learn from each other. I think some of my best parenting is done with an audience, and so is some of my worst. I had met April when she was around 2; she was often at Grandma Happy's house (my Half Buck named her that when he was 2). But this was the most time I'd ever spent with her mom. Since I was new to this mother daughter bonding relationship, this day just stuck in my mind.

Over the course of the day, I learned a bit about her story. At the time April was going to a local christian school. Julie and Mike felt this was the better choice for her for now and joined the church that sponsored the school. Julie shared that she had trusted Christ as her Savior through the teaching and what she learned. I remember thinking: my poor Dad, he just can't get away from us. And I was pleased that God keeps putting people in his path that believe. So I keep praying for him and I shared that with Julie.

Julie just seemed to enjoy her day watching a soccer game, chatting it up with a few other parents on the sidelines. With only one child there was no rushing about to get to the next event as so often happens to me. Could we stop for a slurpee after the game? Sure. I remember how pleased when April asked to get her ears pierced. She confided in me, as April made her earring selection, that she had been waiting for this moment. Because we moms treasure the rites of passage, the moments that won't come again, the days we remember and know our kids will. We want them to be memorable, to share that touchstone. Julie knew it was one of those moments and enjoyed it, and I'm so glad she did. I hope there are more of them tucked in April or her Grandma or Dad's memory because there won't be any more of those rite of passage days for April and Julie to share.